Tyrannosaurus Rex Couldn't Even Pick His Nose

Ever had one of those days where you feel like you were designed to take on absolutely anything other than the task at hand? 

If so, like me you are the human embodiment of the mighty Tyrannosaurus Rex. At 40 feet long and with a head and jaws powerful enough to eat a Jeep Cherokee with Dave driving, mighty T-rex was one imposing dude. Yet, he also had arms so comedically undersized that he couldn't pick his own nose.

You know what? Let's go with scratch. Scratch his own nose. More socially acceptable, and less bizarre nightmare fuel.

Still... imagine. Being King Lizard, lord of the dinosaurs and apex predator of apex predators, yet needing to employ the buddy system to put on deodorant or zip up your pants.

Yet, T-Rex thrived despite looking like an oversized beach ball with toothpick arms. So, there's probably hope for us, too.

Tiny Arms, Big Problems

The mental image of a T-Rex trying to perform basic tasks with those woefully tiny arms is hilarious. Imagine those tiny arms:

• Trying to clap at a Rolling Stones concert. (Similar age)
• Attempting to swim the breaststroke.
• Reaching for the last Pringle in the can.
• Participating in the wave at a football game.
• Attempting the 'Travolta' dance move to a Bee Gees song.
• Doing push-ups.

It's slapstick comedy built into biology, and proof the Creator had a sense of humor. Paleontologists try to tell us that those little arms may have had an actual purpose - like holding onto prey, or pushing himself up off the ground.

But let's get real. T-Rex was given the physique of a Sumo wrestler who had Barbie arms surgically attached below his nipples. Picture that in one of those weird adult diapers and suddenly T-Rex digging for nasal nuggets doesn't seem so bad.

Everyone Has Their "T-Rex Arms"

We laugh at the dino because it seems safe to do so. Bones can't chase us, and the fossil record won't hunt us down. 

But if we're really honest with ourselves, all of us have a T-Rex arm-like feature in our lives. Some area in it where we are wildly overpowered in one respect yet tragically ill equipped in another.

I once had an employer who could close any deal with a potential customer in a single sitting, but couldn't manage his way around an email without assistance.

I had a friend, a certified "gym rat" who could deadlift 400 pounds but couldn't open a childproof medicine bottle.

Me, too. I can figure out a Sudoku, a crossword puzzle, build a house, and pull metaphors out of thin air and draw bizarre analogies unique unto my own mind, but stand in my kitchen completely defeated by shrink-wrap packaging.

Our limitations make us absurd. They're the real punchline. The twist is that those limits don't erase our strengths. If the T-Rex ruled the Cretaceous while looking like it borrowed it's arms from a package of pretzel sticks, then we can survive awkward Zoom calls, getting along with the in-laws, and parallel parking.

Overcompensation: The Real Dinosaur Legacy

Ever notice that people tend to brag the loudest in the areas where they're the most insecure? That guy who constantly reminds everyone how smart he is probably Googles how to spell 'gargantuan' every time he writes about his intellect.

That's pure T-Rex energy.

Think about it: T-Rex didn't just walk - it stomped. It roared loud enough to make volcanoes nervous. It didn't need to worry about other dinosaurs poking fun at his puny arms because of the enormous teeth. That's a heaping mess of overcompensation.

Humans do the same thing. Can't cook? Where a barbecue apron that says "Grill Master." Bad dancer? Just become the "funny guy" at weddings. Horrible with directions? Tell everyone you enjoy taking the "scenic route." Over, and over, and over again.

The things we're bad at fuel our need to show off. I'm sure T-Rex would've bench-pressed Giant Sequoias, if he could actually reach the trunk of the tree without his inflated noggin getting in the way.

Maybe our own quirks are exactly what we need to drive us to adapt, better ourselves, or at least stop taking ourselves so seriously.

Nothing is Ever Perfect

Cold reality alert: T-rex wasn't cut out for being aesthetically pleasing, playful, or having the ability to scratch an itch. It could terrify a waterfall into evaporating, but it couldn't throw a punch.

That's a good lesson. Life doesn't hand out balanced skill sets. Some people are brilliant musicians but struggle with basic math. Others are marvels of athleticism but can't remember their own phone number. And some of us are great at starting sentences but terrible at

The mismatch is a very good thing. Being good at everything would leave no room for improvement. We don't have to be good at everything, just enough things to get by and share trade secrets with others. If the king of dinosaurs could survive with cute little stubbies for arms, then I can live with my inability to fold a fitted sheet.

We're not all perfectly competent, and that's fun. Struggling, fumbling, and occasionally failing makes for great stories as well as making whatever victories we do achieve taste a little sweeter.

Pop Culture Proves It

Hollywood has been cashing in on T-Rex comedy for years. Remember Jurassic Park? That terrifying predator sent chills down spines but also had nerds in the audience secretly wondering: "How does he use a scientific calculator, or use Kleenex?"

It's funny because it's universal. Somewhere deep inside, we know we're all apex predators with at least one glaring flaw. For T-Rex, it was arms. For humans, it's things like emotional maturity, tech support, or remembering our passwords. I'm sure women have their issues, too.

The Jurassic Lesson

Here's what T-Rex teaches us: Our limitations don't disqualify us from being powerful. But they do make us more interesting.

So what if you can't cook? Who cares if you couldn't five-step dance your way out of the two-step? Big deal if the only thing you get right following IKEA instructions is how to swear in five different languages?

Can't carry a conversation, keep plants alive, and freeze up if asked to say a few words in public? Phhhhhhft. You still have your version of massive jaws and terrifying presence - your unique strengths that more than make up for your tiny arms.

The people who matter will love you despite your flaws. Maybe even partially because of them. It's human nature to root for the underdogs with oddly specific limb problems. We root for T-Rexes.

Feeling clumsy? Remember, despite being one of the most fearsome creatures to ever walk the earth, the T-Rex couldn't hail a taxi or even pick his own nose. And yet, for some time, it was boss.

So don't beat yourself up the next time you drop your phone, spill coffee on your best shirt, or get stuck in a revolving door. Yes, I did all three the last time my wife and I went to Hamilton. Now I laugh, because at least I didn't do all three at the same time.

That would be ridiculous.

And at least we've all got one up on T-Rex when it comes to covering a sneeze.