Is That a Mixtape In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Emotionally Unavailable? - The 80's #8

 Romance was complicated in the 80's.

Some will argue that it's always complicated. Unless you're blessed with movie-star level good looks and no sense of embarrassment/shame whatsoever. I only have one of those.

But it was especially complicated in the neon decade. Mostly because finding ways to express those types of feelings seemed inefficient, messy, and way too frequently required rewinding.

Texting? Not a thing.

Say it out loud? And risk being seen as a hormone-driven lunatic with an unbalanced mullet?

Nuh-uh! No way!!

One made a mixtape. And then one lobbed it at another one like a ticking emotional device and awaited a response.

Mixtapes Were Curated, Not Casual

Handing someone such a tape said, "I've spent hours thinking about what you'd say or do if I ever worked up the courage to actually tell you I'm interested. Here... uh... Whitesnake."

You should've spent that time doing your homework or developing coping skills. But no, you squandered hours worrying:

• Was that the right song choice?
• Does track order matter?
• If side A expressed optimism and side B vulnerability, how hard will it be for them to say no?
• If side B gets weird, that's on them, right??

The physical act of the exchange was awkward. Sliding a cassette out of the pocket of your tight jeans while trying to avoid direct eye contact made you look like you got caught blushing in health class.

And if you managed to say anything, it was probably along the lines of, "Uh... I made you this."

Congrats, dude! You've just exposed your soul via soft rock and synthesizer.

The Real Danger Was Interpretation

You might choose a song that you think simply says, "I like you."

What they might here is, "My buddy Gord and I were spying on you from behind the drop ceiling tiles in the girls change room."

Or something like that.

Even if restraining orders weren't considered, one wrong ballad choice and suddenly things were "like, way intense." This basically made the mixtape a Rorschach test with a drum machine.

And heaven help you if the tape got eaten. That was the ultimate harbinger of a doomed relationship before it even had the chance to be painful.

However, mixtapes require effort. Time. Vulnerability. You couldn't fast forward past the feelings, even if you pretended you didn't care once the exchange was made.

Is it possible that showing someone who you really are - even badly or somewhere in the realm between badly and weirdly - is more courageous than pretending you don't have any feelings at all?

I'd like to think so.

True, today we can send a playlist in the blink of an eye. But it's just not the same.

No pocket bulge. No suspense. And no rewinding.

Unless you still watch VHS... but that's another story.